As a young girl, I eagerly anticipated hearing the stories of missionaries who came to our little church in Monahans, Texas. I would hang on to their every word. I was fascinated by their pictures and loved to hear how they shared the gospel story in the native tongue of their people.One evening we had a guest missionary speaking. I recall her bright, colorful clothing. She was serving somewhere in Africa. I don't remember a lot about what she said, but I do clearly remember what she said to me at the end. As I was seated on the front row, she looked me square in the eye and said, "young lady, someday God may call YOU to be a missionary." I'm sure my eyes were as big as saucers. I don't remember my reaction, but I will never forget her words.
Being raised Southern Baptist, and in church every time the doors were open, I learned alot about missions early on. I began as a Sunbeam--singing, "I wanta be a Sunbeam to shine for Him each day" in my little missions class. Later, as a GA I worked hard memorizing bible verses and loved hearing stories about how missionaries shared the gospel in other countries. It was during these formative years that God placed a love for missions in my heart.
During my teen years, while vacationing with my family in Colorado, I went fly fishing with my daddy. I love the outdoors, especially the mountains. On this particular day I wanted to go along with my daddy and two brothers so I could read and have some quiet time. It was early in the morning as I looked up at the mountain range before me, awed by His majesty, by His awesome creation--I prayed, asking Him what He wanted to do with my life. When I opened my Bible, a letter fell in my lap. It was a letter from a missionary friend of the family that I had never read before, and had no idea how it found its way in my Bible. As I read it, I recall picturing myself doing the work that this man described he and his wife were doing on the mission field. My heart was moved when I read the end of the letter--"It's my prayer that God will call more young people to the mission field...for the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few" I sat wondering, had God intended this for me? Was this His still small voice, yet again, speaking to me? I wondered...
Several years passed. The beginning of my junior year in high school my family moved again. This time only my younger brother and I moved with my mother to Oklahoma. My parents had divorced. I was devastated. I loved my daddy, but what he had done to our family broke my heart. Yet, I knew I had to be strong because my mother needed me. During this time, God provided wonderful Christian mentors who surrounded me and walked with me through this difficult time in my life. Despite my questions as to why God allowed this to happen...God forged a path ahead of me that sealed my faith even more. I could not get enough of His Word. It was a healing balm to my soul. I saw how He was so gracious to provide for me and my family through this time. I remember kneeling by my mother's bed, praying with her many times through our first year in Oklahoma--literally crying out to God for strength to endure this trial. God was faithful. I learned that He truly was my strength. In this valley of my life I learned. Alot.
The next summer I went to Falls Creek--a church camp in Oklahoma. During the week it came as no surprise to me that my favorite part of camp was hearing the missionary speak. What I didn't expect was the heaviness that I felt and the sense that God was calling me to be a missionary. I began to question God about why He would choose to call me--I was shy, and didn't even like to speak in front of people, even stuttered at times. How on earth could he possibly use me? Then, on Thursday night the speaker made a statement that erased my doubts. He said, "If you feel God is calling you to be a missionary and you are questioning it, rest assured of this--it's certainly not Satan, why would he want you to be a missionary?" As soon as they started singing "Wherever He Leads I'll Go," I made my way to the front and made a commitment to be obedient to go wherever He would call me. The burden I had felt all week was finally lifted.
As I look into my past and recall these experiences, I see, even more clearly how His loving hands have been guiding me every step of the way. He started early--placing that spark in my tender young heart and growing it through the years until it became a flame that I could no longer ignore. God captured my heart for the nations and planted a passion in me that has, to this day, remained. Yes, there have been times when I wondered if it had died, as God has required me to go through some very painful trials, but the flame still continues to burn. I recall asking God, at one point to take away the desire because it was too painful to bear since I couldn't go and serve as I had envisioned. But, He never released me. Even now, I hear His still small voice saying, "trust me, I'm not finished with you yet."
"Yes" was only the beginning.